Grief is a natural response to losing someone or something that we love.
Everyday life events that cause grief
- The death of a loved one
- The end of a beloved pet
- Divorce
- The ending of a significantly close relationship
- A career loss
- When your children grow up and move out of your home
- Changes to your level of functioning due to a chronic illness or injury
- When a close family member develops a chronic disease or has a severe injury
- Retirement
- Imprisonment of a loved one
- Infertility and miscarriage
- Having to relocate
Grief occurs when a person or pet we love dies, and something vital to us and close to our hearts ends.
When we experience the death of a loved one or the end of an important close relationship, we grieve over the immediate loss and the hopes and dreams attached to the loss.
Grieving is a natural response to heartbreak. Grief brings on emotions that range from dull aching sadness to intense and overwhelming sadness and despair. Grief also causes physical aches and pains. For example, you may feel a tightness or ache in your chest.
A grieving person may also experience anger, guilt, shame, resentment, and anxiety. It is imperative not to judge or shame yourself for opposing thoughts or feelings while grieving. Doing so will only add to your distress. Do your best to be kind and compassionate towards yourself during this difficult time.
Because of the intense and challenging emotions caused by grief, you may want to avoid them. Avoiding having to experience your feelings may look like keeping yourself extremely busy, using alcohol, drugs, or sex to escape, masking your real emotions, putting up a false persona for the world to see, or stuffing and bottling up your feelings.
When people avoid their feelings or try to numb themselves, they do so intending to protect themselves from experiencing the pain associated with their grief. What ends up happening is they disrupt the natural healing process, and avoidance strategies often cause more distress in the long run.
There isn't a designated time frame as to when the grieving process will end. Grief is often a lifelong process. Through healing and with time, the intensity of grief will decrease. When a new loss occurs, when the anniversary of a loss comes up, and during milestone life events, you may be reminded of past losses and find yourself needing to grieve again.
